Sharing Something a Bit Personal
Dearest Friends/Watchers here on dA...
I hope you don't mind if I share something a little bit personal.
I'm not used to sharing things publicly, that are personal, let alone dedicating a whole journal to it.
But... being that we live very far away from any sort of family, and have made so few local friends since moving here,
I feel a therapeutic need to put together a little something here, on dA, where this has been the only online community I have been visiting for almost five years now... it has become a type of family for me...
And I hope it is okay to say so.
I was away from dA, for a while again recently...
... and I know that some of you already know why, because as I've been trying to come back, I have been answering my notes, and whoever has left me notes during the time I was away, I told of these happenings.
Also, though it was not explained in any sort of detail, as to why I was not here for my commitments at my main group of #Unframed-Nature
I appreciated the post my Co-Founder made on my behalf. I was amazed to received so much kindness and support, and I thank the admins., and members of #Unframed-Nature
alike- they really are so wonderful there.
First of all,
I became quite ill more than a week ago by now... so much so, that I was bedridden for the long while...
Nothing contagious, but having to do with a few of my ongoing medical problems "rearing their ugly heads" all at the same time.
I do not usually discuss my illnesses or health, publicly, and even now, I am not up for explaining these details.
But, this particular time, it was all made a lot worse, and it has been much more difficult to recover, because of something else that began to happen during the time I was so sick.
My beloved Beagle, Malori, took a really terrible and strange turn for the worse.
It started very suddenly last Thursday.
I heard her in the living room, making all kinds of noise, and I found her stuck behind some shelves and tangled in some cords. After I freed her, she ran across the room and got trapped behind the T.V. in those cords, and then got stuck between the refrigerator and the wall, and so on and so forth. But I could not keep up with this sudden and erratic energy with potential of great harm! Normally, she likes to rest and eat treats, etc. This was so bizarre!
We took her to the vet immediately, and though they were not for sure what was wrong with her, they thought maybe she had a stroke. They gave us special food, and some sedative medications, and said to wait until Monday...
Instead of improving, she got MUCH worse and fast. She could NOT be sedated by ANY amount of sedative medication! We called a vet on the weekend, who told us to also give her adult Benadryl, but still she could not rest or sleep!
And she had become frantic and very upset... she started crying and crying...
Her arthritic body was being forced to move, by whatever was happening in her brain, and her body was just in such pain.
It was a most terrible weekend...
As soon as we could, we took her back to the vet on Monday...
and after updating the vet, and from their observation, they thought more that she had a brain tumor pressing on the "Activity Center" in her brain, compelling her body to physically and continuously move.
They said there was not much else to do, and sadly we did have to put her to sleep...
But we were with her there, holding her until she passed, finally at peace.
I feel very badly that she suffered so much in her last few days, but... it is good that she is no longer living with this terrible misery.
I am of course very happy that she could live MORE than 16 years! That is amazing, I know
this, and I have soooo many memories with her, and of my life with her in it!
However, as a result, she was in my life and by my side for so long, that I can barely remember life before her...
So of course, it is a very sad time, and we are greatly missing her.
For some therapeutic value, I post the following tribute, which includes every photo I have ever shared of her here on dA:Tribute for Malori Joy
This collage image of Malori, was the most recent upload that I just shared here on dA!
She had made it to 16 years, on Oct. 11th, and we had quite the party for her, and I'm
so thankful we did.
Malori's Christmas 2011 portrait!
Malori was always an easy going type of dog... she went with the flow!
She was happy to help raise money for the humane society, so other doggies,
[and cats!] could also have loving homes.
Her 15th b-day portrait...
she wasn't feeling too well around this time, and had something wrong with her eye.
But here she was making a bed out of the sand, at the beach!
She actually got much better in a lot of ways since that time.
Her 14th b-day portrait. This was just after the Summer she was diagnosed with
Congestive Heart Failure, but with the proper care and medications,
she continued to thrive for more than two more years!
Malori, with her human daddy, on a trip to check out the new area, that we did end up moving to!
She was just turned 14 here.
She adored taking walks, and exploring her own yard, and new places, like a seaweed smelling beach!
Malori is just over 13 years old here,
always so gracious and tolerant each time we got a new cat...
even allowing Tsuki, as a kitten, to snuggle with her!
She's just over 13 here, and doing one of her favourite things:
Malori with her favourite living being in the whole wide world: her "sister" Canela,
which was taken just a couple days before Canela herself, had passsed...
Not long after, Malori began to seek more attention from humans.
Malori is 12 and a half here...
She used to dig into any and all types of blankets and pillows and make "cave-like" beds!
Malori is about 12 and a half, and hanging out with Sha-Sha, being a good sport about having
cats in the house!
Here, Malori is 11 and a half,
and as usual the "dynamic duo" is doing something silly!
Malori at 11 and a half, learning how to be friends with cats,
Sha-Sha in particular... who is about full grown here.
Malori, 11 and a half, drinking from a cup, at the park, on a picnic.
Malori, 11 and a half, with me at the park on a picnic.
I actually have a TON more photos of Malori...
but with the other pets, I've had to balance out who gets shared online and when, otherwise, the bombardment of pet photos would be astounding!
I wish I could share with you photos from when she was a puppy!
But from age 11 and earlier, ALL such photos are on film, and I don't have a scanner, nor do I want to pull apart actual photo albums, or photo frames, to take a photo of a photo...
But she was the runt of her litter, very tiny and very much BLACK all over, especially her head and her ears!
She was absolutely adorable and loved so much to play with her older "sister" Canela.
There are so many funny memories of Malori... plus, she got into so much over the years, we used to call her "the DOG with nine lives". But she was a survivor, and her pure stubbornness of strength and sheer will certainly helped keep her going for very long.
Of course I am grateful to have had this wonderful dog in my life for so long, but with so much shared history, it is hard to imagine life without her.
I realize that to some people, pets are "just animals", but to me they have always been SO MUCH more than that- rather they are integral parts of the family. They are always there when you come home, and they are loyal, and they love you no matter what kind of day you've had and how you may have behaved. Simply, these are just my opinions, and how I feel. Thanksgiving Thoughts
This is the week that the USA observes their Thanksgiving, and I know there are some other countries, who observe a similar holiday, but at a different time of the year.
For me, my favourite thing about the holiday, is taking and making the time to really stop and think about what we are thankful for.
Sometimes, this is a lot harder when we are going through our own difficulties, and when there is so much other strife and struggle in the world...
But it also a good idea to balance this out, by remembering to focus on what IS good and what IS beautiful... because there is also this!
I know I have much to be thankful for, and though I try to make it a practice to pause periodically and at least make such a mental list, I would like to be especially mindful of my list this week.
One thing I would like to share, is my thanks and gratitude for the kind of support and strength from the friendships I've made here on dA, and the kindness from those I have had the pleasure to meet here, too.
This is the "giving" part of Thanksgiving, in my opinion, and I am very much grateful for the "giving" qualities that people do possess.
Whether you observe this US Thanksgiving, or a type of Thanksgiving holiday of your own at some other time of the year,
I wish you ALL a most pleasant time of giving thanks for whatever you find in your life that is good.
And thank you for allowing me to share this personal journal...
I realize that in many cases, people might not to how to respond to something like this.
If you should read any of this, and not know what to say in a comment, please don't feel bad about that.
You do NOT need to comment at all!
To be able to have a SPACE where I can create this personal journal, is therapy in itself, and I am thankful for THAT!
I hope to get back to my regular types of journal postings near the beginning of December!
December is so soon already!
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